I’ve been marinating this blog post for quite some time, but I thought it would be hokey and redundant to touch on this terrifying plague taking over Denver. After today though, witnessing so many slow stoners cruising in the left hand lane, I couldn’t help but wonder…Do people in Denver know the basic fundamentals of driving?

I get it, Colorado is one of the most relaxed, best kept secrets to actually know what living in true paradise is like. From our spectacular, dry and sunny climate to snow in the mountains almost year round, I completely understand the appeal. Cool, weed is legal as well. Who cares. I guess someone blurted out our wonderful way of living as Texans, Floridians and Californians continue to flood our roadways. By all means, come to colorful Colorado for whatever desire you crave, but you might need to review the Drivers Ed course once more.

I moved to Denver in 2013, before it was “cool” and the entire south and west coast entered our secret state. I grew up in Dallas, Texas and we drive with a purpose. Driving isn’t meant to gab on the phone for an hour or get stoned out of your mind to make the drive more pleasant. Like can we not do that at home, on a walk or I don’t know, the right hand lane? That is the slowest lane, just in case y’all weren’t aware. Do that shit in that lane, or better yet, stay in your lane. Just sayin’

The left hand lane is for faster drivers and most importantly, the passing lane. You don’t drive twenty-five miles per hour, casually hanging out in the left lane. That’s just basic common knowledge, “Denverites.” I would be one of the richest men in the state if I collected monies for how many times I’ve witnessed this horrifying pandemic, mostly from these Florida transplants that think speeding in the right hand lane is how you drive.

I was born in Florida and my Dad lives in Santa Rosa Beach now, so I have mad respect for the people and state. I just feel like we need some refreshing lessons to learn from the test we all took at just sixteen years old. I’m not dogging these states moving to Colorado; like the more the merrier, right? Just please understand that not everyone in Denver smokes pot and we aren’t living our paradise, active lifestyle by going two miles per hour in a damn motor vehicle. That’s all.