When HBO’s Sex and the City premiered on June 6th, 1998, it shocked the nation with jaw-dropping profanity, raunchy one liners and a sexually charged dialogue. At the time, most television shows and movies glorified confident men as overly sexual creatures, but if women were to be vocal like that, they would be called names and seen as trashy girls. Sex and the City broke all the rules and finally gave powerful women the spotlight to share their own desires, wants and needs. The series was shown through the lens of Carrie Bradshaw, played by the fabulous Sarah Jessica Parker and her three single gal pals, living in New York City. Sex and relationships, blended with vulgarity and one-night stands, was never displayed from the perspective of confident women. This show broke that mold and Sex became the it show for seven years because of it’s originality and accurate depiction of what women go through during those decades of life. It was always men portrayed as sexual beings, never women.

Season one became the highest rated show for HBO, giving the network an outstanding increase in ratings during the late 90’s. Some critics ridiculed early seasons of the show stating it was an unrealistic representation of what living in New York City was actually like. I beg to differ, old-school critics. I witnessed many single women galivanting around cities like Dallas, Denver and New York as a foursome, sipping on the now iconic cosmopolitan and sharing their escapades, careers and having a blast. Get togethers and watch gatherings, before social media, was an incredible thing to witness and be a part of. I didn’t watch the series religiously while it was airing, but in my senior year of high school, my best friends sister always had it on in the “loft,” which was upstairs in their den where we chain smoked cigarettes and sipped on Miller Lite. I was technically introduced to this well-written, hilarious new show in 2002-2003 that was taking the world by storm, but didn’t watch until 2009 when I got the entire series on DVD. I wanted to be a writer at that moment, while we “lofted” as I saw myself aligning with Carrie’s character in the best way possible.

Sex and the City received eighty-nine nominations during the course of the series winning seven awards at The Emmy’s, eight Golden Globe’s statues and three Screen Actors Guild Awards. Pretty impressive for a cable syndication TV show during the 1990’s-2000’s, decades before streaming apps produced numerous prestigious award-winning shows.

Sarah Jessica Parker (Carrie Bradshaw) is the sex columnist and star of the show, Kim Cattrall (Samantha Jones) plays a sex crazed publicist, a very direct woman representing celebrities and restaurants, Kristin Davis (Charlotte York) is the buttoned up, prudish art gallery owner looking for a traditional love story of her own and Cynthia Nixon (Miranda Hobbs) co-stars as Carrie’s best friend, an uptight, neurotic lawyer often bringing the girls back down to earth. The romantic comedy-drama centers around the tight knit quartet as they navigate through the exhausting game of dating, work and life during the late 90’s, early 00’s in New York City. I still watch it to this day and it’s wild how relevant it is today.

Sex and the City tackles the frustrating, expected norms that women in their thirties and forties should be married with kids and not be out on the town daily, engaging with numerous men at bars or clubs. At the time, society’s view was that women in their thirties and forties should be settled down in suburbia and raising a family of their own. It hilariously mocked the ridiculous assumption that if you’re not settled down with a partner by thirty, then you’re an immature person who will never grow up. Oh, you’ll definitely “grow up” when your significant other of twenty years leaves you devastated and lonely, starting life over in your forties. I have witnessed this from a few of my friends and family. It’s rough and nauseating thinking about it, especially since these rules still hold true today, but to a lesser degree. I see beautiful, powerful and boss women every day who are just as happy, if not happier being single. I am glad that I have not met that special person yet because I was not a desirable candidate to marry when I was in my addiction. I am just now seeing life and experiencing things with no blinders on. I am in love with myself right now and it’s going to take someone really special to sweep me off my feet and be in my life.

As a forty-year-old happy man, living in Denver, Colorado, I relate to the characters and the well-written script more today than when I watched the entire series in 2009. The bullshit that Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda experienced when single during those decades, eerily mirrored some of the outrageous, often comical binds that I got myself into in my thirties.

After finishing the series in the Winter of 2009, I felt as if I could be the male Carrie Bradshaw in Dallas, Texas. I started writing professionally in the summer of 2009 as I fell in love with her style of writing and ability to tell a story relatable to mine. I posted blogs on my Facebook and wrote for the Denver Examiner, ironically, while I was working in Dallas. To think I didn’t know I would end up in Denver is comforting and really cool to be honest. Just in case you didn’t know, I am a writer, narrating certain situations of my life, reviewing pop culture and my stories are similar to Carrie’s encounters and personal life dramas. Bradshaw narrates the show, dissecting her failed relationships while tying into her columns (blogs) many pondering questions and observations that really makes you wonder… Am I the only one struggling with the same problems? Is it me or him?

One of the main reasons Sex and the City was so successful during its original run is due to the fact that every single, married, divorced or widowed person that watched the show at some point in their lives, surely went through similar challenges themselves. The asinine argument of not adhering to society norms, instantly became the topic at large when women should succumb to the pressures of settling down when it’s socially acceptable, regardless if their in love or not. Even men loved it; they couldn’t get enough of how raw, honest and funny Sex was.

It cleverly sheds light on various couples throughout the show who jump into marriages so quickly, because that is what society deems normal. Couples should be married, hating life instead of staying single and happy until the right one comes along. Due to the unrealistic pressure of racing to the alter before the age of thirty, they divorce prematurely. They never got to test drive different cars while single, meet interesting new people or learn to be completely isolated in some of the best and worst decades of this thing called life.

I have failed and got right back up. I went through some dark and many wonderful times that I feel were meant for me to experience alone. When I meet the man of my dreams that I’ll spend the rest of my life with, it will just be icing on the cake. I like being single, independent and on my own. That’s when they say someone comes along right? I can confidently say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, just barely turning forty. The uphill battles and mountains I have had to climb in my early years of adulthood, made me stronger, more resilient and hungrier for the things I want and deserve in my life.

I believe our twenties and thirties allow us to royally fuck up at jobs, perform well at various kinds of careers, love, lose, then fail again with other obstacles to overcome as your own person. Living in a few different cities away from your hometown is the chance to discover other cultures, weather, people and most importantly, getting to know yourself by living on your own. It allows you to figure out life’s ups and downs on your terms, without a partner you met in high school, college or in a bar you hardly know sober. Focusing on your career, interests, traveling and meeting an unbelievable amount of different kinds of people during your thirties and forties, so you can taste various flavors in the ice cream shop to determine who fits the bill best in your life.

Promo poster | Photo cred: Google images